Team Minato's Accidental Intervention
by Captainsatire
Summary: In which a harebrained scheme to teleport Ichiraku's ramen to the front lines of the Third Shinobi war results Team Minato Kushina and Jiraiya time traveling to intervene in a certain jaded ANBU captain's life. Or: Author wanted Team Minato to meet teen!Kakashi and made up excuses to get it. Angst and humor abound. T for language.
1. Chapter 1

SO. This is a first. Summer came along and I realized I'd completely forgotten how fictional writing _(y'know, that stuff people actually enjoy?)_ works. This first chapter is to sort of test the waters, so to speak. Please review and tell me how horribly my attempts at human emotion fall flat. ;D

Disclaimer: Sasuke would have died a tragic but permanent death (it would have probably improved his character anyway?) had I owned Naruto. Alas, woe is me.

 **Chapter One:** In which Ramen is Important to Some People.

It starts in the rain, the patter of small foot steps running through a dark street, the exaltation following a challenge, the excitement of a child who _knows_ he's done his father proud.

And it doesn't matter what the villagers say, or the graffiti on the gates to his family compound, because _Dad is finally going to smile tonight_.

" _If your father knew the fucking shinobi rules we wouldn't be in this mess, 'those who break the rules are trash' kid."_

" _Your father's gonna get all of us killed."_

" _You'll turn out just like him, a piece of shit who betrays his village."_

" _Hope your next mission puts you out of your misery kid."_

" _Your dad killed my little brother you fucking brat."_

" _You should both just die."_

He's finally good enough, he's proved he can take care of himself and _there's no reason to worry about me dad_.

The boy - _six and two months old Dad!-_ has just reached the next rank of shinobi, he's a _chuunin_ now, and that means maybe now he's strong, maybe Dad won't worry so much.

He's charging through the front door to a silent home. That's okay though it's normal now and he wasn't supposed to be here until tomorrow morning anyway, but he made Sensei rush home so he could surprise Dad.

He runs to his father's bedroom, it's where the man spent most of his hours now since _that mission_. It's okay tonight though, because he has a surprise and maybe tomorrow they can have meals like a family again to celebrate. Just for one day.

The room is silent as the boy turns the doorknob slowly, just in case Dad is sleeping, it's dark out and if the tired man is getting rest he supposes it would be alright to wait the few hours till sunrise to make the announcement of his promotion.

The room is empty. The bed is made and unslept in. As thunder cracks across the sky the child's instincts are suddenly in overdrive. It is no longer an excited son standing in the doorway but a mid-ranked shinobi with a year of experience under his belt, someone who just got back from a tournament promoting children to kill one another for their village's pride and promotion, for the entertainment of civilians and a complete bloodbath in the face of the broiling Third Shinobi War.

He reaches out with his senses, searching for the familiar white chakra he's known his entire life, the bloodline his father will teach him now that he's proven a successful shinobi.

Nothing.

The house is empty and _something is wrong._

He doesn't know why he feels that way but all the same everything is screaming at him that his father should be there.

The man hasn't left the house in weeks, _why isn't he there?_

The shinobi trods silently to check the remaining ground floor rooms, turning up nothing, before heading upstairs, using his keen memory to avoid the purposefully squeaky steps -a warning system to catch the unwary- and he arrives upstairs with nary a whisper.

One by one he clears the rooms, his bedroom, the two guestrooms, and the library before coming to a stop in front of his father's study.

And that's when he realizes why his instincts have been so high strung. He had dismissed the smell under the belief it was emanating from his own clothing, but standing in front of the study, there is the undeniable aroma of copper and rust _and why is there so much blood in there?_

The boy, because for all his training there is blood in his father's study and he can't find his dad and _who bled on the other side of that door?_

With trepidation, he reaches toward the knob and pushes the door in. There, in the center of the room on the tatami mat is a slumped figure, blood surrounding and soaked through the floor.

He's frozen and can't quite process what he's seeing because this isn't what he wanted. It can't be and _it isn't his dad, this isn't him nononono._

The denial almost works until mother nature steps in and a flash of lightning from the storm outside illuminates the room.

The full jounin uniform, a single white sleeve -red triangles adorning its rim-, a white pony tail.

A very distinctive tanto, belonging to only one S-ranked shinobi in the Elemental Nations, buried in the man's gut.

It's his father and there's no stopping the rush of thoughts.

 _Why?!_

 _Am I not good enough? Was I never good enough?_

 _You left me._

 _Why did you leave me._

 _I hate you._

He doesn't bother looking for a death poem, those who break the rules are trash.

Nonetheless, his sensei finds him standing in the same exact spot the next afternoon.

He doesn't go to the funeral.

The shinobi is seventeen and returning from a suicide mission. Well, did they count as a suicide missions if he never managed to get himself killed on them? Really, he _tried_. Whoever rated these missions was really letting him down because it's been years and all he's managed to do is get a promotion to ANBU captain and _really_ , who was the moron who thought putting him even _remotely_ in charge of someone else's life was going to end well?

First jounin mission - teammate dead, political backlash for obtained bloodline.

One year later, rescue mission - objective failed, _because he killed her himself_.

First year after ANBU admittance - the Kyuubi attack, fourth Hokage and his wife _dead._ And it's a miracle their son hasn't spontaneously kicked the bucket by simple _association_.

Why would anyone put themselves on a team with "friend-killer Kakashi?" Hound wasn't superstitious but really, even he can see there's a trend.

He supposes that the idio- er, _Hokage's_ faith in him wasn't completely unfounded though, because strangely enough, leading Team Ro has been the only case in which the definitely-not-a-curse has ceased. Probably due to some weird balance with the naturally high death rates in ANBU.  
Somehow Hound's team has become the elite of the elite and despite the great number of S-ranks undertaken, they have the highest survival rate. _Those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash._

Regardless, He's tired, bruised, and _if Bear asked how he was doing one more fucking time._

"Ne. Hound-taichou! You sure you'll be alright? You hit that tree pretty hard and you haven't teased the rookie even once about fainting!"

"I'm fine Bear, let's just report to the hokage and go home, I'll make sure Cat regrets not informing me about his little cut _before_ the poison kicks in at training tomorrow"

There was a chorus of groans from the team at the thought of actually getting up in the morning to do anything other than _go back to sleep_ because there should really be a limit on how much one mission can fuck up. Though they really should have seen the warning signs when the pigs started showing up everywhere and that weird old man _would not stop_ streaking past their target's property. Not to mention that somebody later was going to have to explain to Cat that _no, those weren't dog toys in the client's bedroom._

Really, it was a shitstorm start to finish, and Team Ro as a whole just wanted to go home and compartmentalize the entire thing.

It was such a damn shame that the universe had unilaterally decided to make Hound - _Kakashi_ \- it's permanent bitch.

"Okay but what if-"

"No that couldn't-"

"But how about-?"

"That will almost definitely explode in our faces."

"So let's change it to feedback here."

"Actually, that might-"

The chuunin members of Team Minato stood in silence, eyes glazed, as the three seal masters seated crosslegged in the middle of Training Ground Seven played around with the Hiraishin Seal, throwing ideas back and forth at such a pace that even the group's lauded prodigy ready to fall asleep.

The technique worked, _why_ were they messing with it again?

"Eh?! There's no way that will work! You'll just blow up the whole shop _and_ ruin the ramen trying that! It's waste! Blasphemous waste 'ttebane!"

Ah yes, that's right. It's been four hours of the chuunin standing there waiting for training _because certain ramen-obsessed seal-masters wanted to teleport ramen from Ichiraku's directly to them while out in the field._

"Oi! Brats! We're using these seals to get supplies out there -not to feed your weird religion!"

 _And they managed to drag Jiraiya sama into it under the guise of helping the war effort. How. Why._

"Ah," Minato seemed chagrined, "of course, Jiraiya-sensei! We were just joking," for a grown man, he really did manage a good puppy dog look, but his team wasn't fooled, "we would never use such a complicated seal array for that kind of frivolous thing." Kushina nodded along, looking properly contrite.

"So sorry Jiraiya-sama! we won't joke around about teleporting ramen like that anymore dattebane~!" ' _ **because there**_ **is** _ **no joking when it comes to Ramen!'**_

' _LIERS.'_ Team Minato looked on as Jiraiya of the Sennin, Toad Sage, S-ranked ninja, veteran of the Second Shinobi War and all-round extremely powerful shinobi, glanced suspiciously at his student and his perfectly angelic looking girlfriend; and then nodded along, accepting the explanation as truth with no follow up interrogation to prevent what was _definitely_ going to be a prodigious amount of power-abuse.

The members of Team Minato shared a glance and experienced a lifetime of bonding in a single moment due to the no-doubt large amounts of hardship that would soon be inflicted upon them by this new seal.

"What if we used it like a summoning seal?"

"If shinobi could just replicate a summoning seal to transport supplies it would have been done decades ago."

Team Minato sighed in long suffering. This would be a while.

Dusk had already fallen by the time Team Ro was dismissed from the Hokage's office.  
"Everyone get some rest, I'll be seeing you all at 0700 tomorrow," Hound addressed the group, "go get some rest. Dismissed."

"Hai!" They tiredly saluted.

After his team dispersed, Hound set off across the rooftops toward the Memorial Stone, he'd let Obito and the rest of his family know he had made it back home in one piece, then maybe he would go back to his apartment to get some long-awaited rest.

"Aw heck, let's just shove some chakra in and see what happens."

The redhead aggressively placed her hand over the seal. _Let's see what this puppy does._

"THERE'S NO TARGET FOR IT YET!"

Three startled chuunin, using every ounce of training they'd ever received, attempted to escape the mess of three S-ranked Jounin in the form of a familiar flash.

"KUSHINA DON-"

They never stood a chance.

Hound tiredly lifted himself from his crouched position in front of the memorial and sighed. Looking up at the sky, the moon had reached its zenith.

"Maa, Obito, I suppose I should be-"

 _Flash. Thump._

Minato snapped to awareness courtesy of a _very_ pissed off chakra signature leaking killing intent that saturated the surrounding air. ' _-shit!'_

Taking note of their position ' _the Memorial Stone?'_ Minato worked to snap his own chakra outward to shield his poor bewildered students. Kushina and Jiraiya similarly jumped in front of the stunned chuunin and turned to face the threat.

Donned in the standard ANBU black cloak and porcelain animal mask, a lone Black Ops member was crouched before them, blade at the ready.

"Woah, we're on your side ANBU-san." Clearly this was a misunderstanding or the guy was confused because last he checked, ANBU did _not_ randomly attack Konoha shinobi.

Minato spread his fingers and held his hands up in the universal 'surrender' position.

Jiraiya stepped in, "Listen, I don't know why you attacked but we're Konoha shinobi, same as you." It appeared the mysterious ANBU had communication problems because last Minato checked, one of the Sennin should be pretty recog-

"Shut up." Wow. _Rude._

Before Jiraiya could get huffy, or Kushina came to her senses and realized that _yes this dumbass was actually threatening three S-rank shinobi at once and had the_ gall _to be rude about it,_ Minato stepped in.

"Ah, excuse me?" Okay well, even he's not immune to mind-numbingly bad decisions. Nobody's perfect.

"Who do you think you are, because if this is someone's idea of a joke, I _will_ kill you.

"Eh?! You are super rude 'ttebane! Don't be stupid, can't you recognize The Yellow Flash and Jiraiya of the Sennin?!" There's Kushina, but as long as his student keep qui-

"-what kind of suicidal idiot challenges three S-ranked shinobi all at once anyway?"

"Oi! You should learn to respect people you jerk ANBU! We're innocent shinobi!"

"..Why exactly do you want to kill us?"

Well, as long as the whole gang pitched in.

The commentary and interrogative questions built in number and the clamour was at once silenced by a sharp bark of laughter from the mystery shinobi, the kind you hear from men who go into a battle already decided on death.

"Maa, I'll give you points for getting the personalities right," the man's stance changed, and the tension in the air spiked "but, the Yondaime has been dead for years, along with most of your little entourage." _Wait. What?!_


	2. Chapter 2: Of Various Meetings

Alrighty, I worked on trying to make this one a bit longer than the last (with less mistakes in it too) but unfortunately I have no idea where this story is going. If you have a direction you'd like to see me take this (or you enjoyed what I have so far) please leave a review!  
A big thank you to my reviewers for my first chapter, it made me so happy to see people taking an interest! Absolutely made my day.

 **Disclaimer:** _insert clever remark about how I DO NOT OWN NARUTO_

As the cacophony of questions rose from the noisy Team Minato impostors _liars, fakes,_ Hound stretched his senses. After leaking killing intent in such high quantities within the village walls, ANBU patrols should have been dispatched to scope the situation out.

 _There_. Just in the treeline, avoiding detection from the intruders, were two squads of ANBU, alarmed by the high chakra spike of one of their own.

While avoiding showing any outward sign he was anything but completely on guard to the trespassers, he wavered his own chakra just slightly, not so much it could be construed as anything but nervousness or tension to the enemy nin, but just the signal the ANBU personnel were looking for to let them know he was awaiting orders.

The whispers-pulses of chakra responded. A staccato dancing on the edge of his peripheral senses.

" _Distress received-"_

"-respect people you jerk ANBU! We're innocent shinobi!" The not-Obito was shouting.

" _Messenger sent to Hokage-"_

"-the hell kind of ANBU are you anyway?" Kushina-nee, no, the intruder was saying.

" _Hokage inbound, expected ETA: one minute."_

"Just bring us to the Hokage shinobi-san, we're on the-" He had to give it to them for their dedication. They weren't pulling any stops.

" _Stall for time, Hound. Don't let them leave."_

They were getting angsty with his continued silence, time to humor them if he wanted to keep this clean.

He laughed, it wasn't a good laugh, but it was enough to quiet them down a bit while he mentally prepared himself for the confrontation with his ghosts.

"Maa, I'll give you points for getting the personalities right," Hound then changed his stance, it wouldn't be good if they decided _now_ would be a good time to give up the ruse, "but, the Yondaime has been dead for years, along with most of your little entourage."

Their shocked expressions _looked_ real, but what could one expect from a group of shinobi, and the chakra signatures _seemed_ genuine but Hound never did put much stock in his own senses when they were blinded by too much grief. Too many hallucinations, too many shattered hopes.

"EH? Yondaime?! What happened to Sarutobi-sensei?" Huh, looks like the Jiraiya lookalike had something to say after all.

Hold on, what the hell kind of cocky ametuer infiltrators managed to get into a hidden village looking like a couple of dead chuunin (he was definitely ignoring the fact that there appeared to be a mini-him among them. _Had he always looked so broody?_ ), the late Yondaime, the previous Kyuubi jinchuuriki, and one of the Sannin; WITH ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA ABOUT WHO THEY WERE.

They were playing with him. They had to be, everyone heard of the Kyuubi attack, everyone knew of the Yondaime and his fate, AND at this point, he'd be plain insulted if people didn't know that he was called 'Sharingan no Kakashi' for a reason, _and he was not that short anymore!_

~~~~~~~~x

Minato was becoming more apprehensive by the minute, this ANBU was not playing around, and the swordsman's chakra was becoming more agitated by the minute. He didn't know what was going on, but the fact that the surrounding ANBU squads hadn't revealed themselves and sorted out this whole situation said a lot. He had detected them upon their arrival, but didn't seem to be taking S-rank stealth measures, _who did they think they were dealing with?_ What really had his mind racing, however, was the shinobi's last statement, _most of us are dead?_

"Maa, I find it hard to believe that a bunch of shinobi skilled enough to sneak into a hidden village don't know about the current kage." Okay now this asshole was being deliberately provocative. _He's stalling for time_. Either Minato could let the man continue to stall in peace and wait out the result, or he could try to escape and come back after getting more information.

"What the hell do you mean asshole? We didn't sneak in here, we're Konoha shinobi! KO-NO-HA." It seemed Obito was at the end of his rope and had burned clean through the rest of his patience.

"Shut up dumbass, we don't know what's wrong with this guy." Ah, there was Kakashi, it would appear the genius had also run dry on patience.

"Obito, Kakashi, please." Minato addressed them, now was _not_ the time to deal with them fighting. "Shinobi-san, if you could please just answer Jiraiya-sensei's question..?" With his students there, Minato was not prepared to weather two squads of ANBU and escape the borders of the village.

"Well," Said an aged voice from their right flank, "I believe I may be more suitable to answer your questions than Hound here."

As one, the group turned to face an aged Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage. While keeping on eye on the hooded ANBU _-Hound, the Hokage called him-_ Minato heard Jiraiya's exclamation. "Sarutobi-sensei! Wha- how are you so old?!"

It was true, the hunched old man was hardly the picture of youth, and while power still radiated off of him, the God of Shinobi had certainly aged quite a bit.

"Perhaps this will put things into perspective," the hokage began, "it has been six years since Konoha has seen your particular team together in one piece." The group as whole was confused.

"Wait, six years? I don't understand Hokage-sama, that's not possible." Out of the corner of his eye, Minato watched as Hound changed posture, this one containing significantly less threat, though Minato wasn't fooled for a second, knowing that stance meant nothing for a veteran shinobi's ability to go on the attack. What little information could be gleaned from the lowered sword and straightened posture indicated _curious?_ an almost contemplative air about Hound.

"Before we go into this anymore Minato-kun, I have to ask that your group prove your identities please." Minato could practically feel Obito's bursting impatience and inquisitiveness but he was thankful that at this point his team had decided to restrain themselves and allow him to continue uninterrupted.

There was a terse moment of silence before Jiraiya spoke up.

"Grass mission, our genin days, Tsunade-hime got a crush on one of our clients only to scare the shit out of him on the last day of our mission because she found her missing underwear in his rooms." Jiraiya's posture had completely straightened, if the Hokage was asking his own student to prove his identity... This probably wasn't the simple misunderstanding they had first believed it to be.

The Hokage's eyes narrowed, scrutinizing Jiraiya. The sannin met his gaze and there was silence before his sensei let out a gusty sigh of something that sounded like defeat.

"Alright." He seemed defeated. "And _I_ was the one that put it there." At this the hokage's eyes finally brightened.

"Hohoho, I was thinking I'd never get the truth from you." Just like that, almost all the tension in the air disappeared. The Sandaime gave a discreet nod to Hound before the shinobi quietly melted into the trees, clearly dismissed, though Minato could still sense the nagging chakra in the area, just dancing on the edge of his senses. Now that his team seemed no longer in danger, the signature was eerily familiar, in the way one might recognize the foundation of a room they'd lived in for years before coming home to find the furniture's changed and the walls have been repainted. But try as he might, he couldn't ID it before circumstance forced him to redirect his attention.

"It would appear you are all who you claim to be. In these... unusual circumstances, I must insist you all please henge immediately, we will be relocating to my office."

"Hai, Hokage-sama." Minato nodded to his students and made the necessary hand-signs, blond, sunny hair and blue eyes disappeared into nondescript brown, and his facial structure altered just enough to become unrecognizable to anyone who was not familiar with him personally. His companions likewise made changes.

Kushina was now a plain blond, she's kept her green eyes and facial structure, but it was unlikely many would see through the thin lips and unremarkable features to see the Red Hot Habanero underneath. Jiraiya decided on a decided good-looking henge, with a brown ponytail and a charming (lecherous) smile. His students also changed to adopt more nondescript features, Kakashi changed his hair to black and provided an actual face for people to see; Rin kept her hair, erased any sign of her facial markings and darkened her skin tone; Obito changed his hair to blond and figured that without his sharingan, there was no way anyone would recognize Uchiha Obito, especially if it had been at six years.

The hokage nodded at their disguises, then shushined away. Looking at the group one more time, with a nod, Minato followed.

~~~~~~~~x

Hound, along with both squads of ANBU, followed after the group, despite the confirmation of identity, the entire situation was a bit of a... shock. Really, it was exhaustion and resignation that kept his inevitable breakdown in check. After reaching the village and reporting that disastrous mission the only thing that should've been on his mind was sleep; however, when faced with his mysteriously alive family (plus a younger Jiraiya), he knew that sleep could never be realistically achieved.

Convincing one of the Hokage's guard to hit the road took a little glaring and killing intent (the Yondaime was _back_ after all) but he got into the room all the same, and from the Hokage's glance, the man had noticed his particular flagging energy in the corner.

He promised himself that after this whole thing blew over, he'd take a nice break from S-rank missions for a week, _Rin would have killed me for expending that much energy and chakra right after a mission._

The congregation in the middle of the room was talking. And, from what Kakashi could tell, this situation was all the result of an experimentation with the Hiraishin seal gone horribly wrong. _Well, this certainly never happened while I was on Team Minato._

"-but I don't understand how we got _here._ " Minato was saying.

"How so? Was it not random happenstance?" The Hokage seemed inquisitive.

"The Hiraishin works on the provision that there is a target marked out to send the user to. If there wasn't a target, and providing we weren't killed by the seal immediately, _how_ _did we end up safely in Konoha?_ " Minato looked absolutely baffled by their failure to wind up in the middle of Lightning, at the bottom of an ocean, or some other similarly inconvenient place.

"Eh?! We could have died!" Discontent from Team Minato - _Obito-_ had Kushina looking chagrined.

"Well! It's super lucky we didn't then huh!" Hound didn't know why Kushina seemed focused on brushing the near-death under the rug, but he hadn't been too focused on the debriefing earlier anyway. Too much effort was being spent on coping the fact that they're all alive _and holy shit they're real, they're breathing._

~~~~~~~~x

"Minato-kun," the Hokage was pensive, Minato noted "are you saying that if there _were_ a target here, it could be why you arrived here?"

Minato paused, thinking hard, "Yes and no, Hokage-sama. That kind of thing, I mean, I have Hiraishin all over the Elemental Nations, why this specific one? The temporal displacement could be Kushina's excess chakra, but how did we wind up safely in Konoha?" Minato's mind was racing, turning over possibilities. "Furthermore, how could the seals still be active? They'd _at least_ need to be around a constant chakra flow to passively absorb energy, without that, they would've gone inactive upon my..." and wow this was hard to say. Minato hadn't thought about it in quite these terms just yet, but-

"Since your death." The Hokage finished. He had nodded along throughout the explanation, and moving on past the topic of Minato's death, he stated "If those are the conditions you outlined, then I can guarantee that they have been met. There was one active Hiraishin seal upon your arrival.

 _There was? That would mean someone had the seal on them or nearby, for years; and for us to land where we did..._ His mind flashed to the cloaked ANBU, brutal chakra, and a suicidal need to attack six potential enemies. _That would mean-_

"Sarutobi-sensei, what are we going to do about getting back? This is clearly not where we're supposed to be." There was Jiraiya-sensei, head on straight and already looking for solutions.

The wizened hokage nodded his agreement. "I suppose you'll have to figure out a seal to send yourselves back then." _He- He's gotta be joking!_  
"Haha..." From the unimpressed stare Minato received, it would appear the hokage was not indeed joking, "...and in the meantime, Hokage-sama?" _smooth save, 'Yellow Flash.'_

"Well, assuming that the simple act of you showing up here and now has already set changes in motion, attempting to mitigate the damage by restricting access to common knowledge would result in no less than imprisonment." Minato hid a wince at this. "I suppose you'll all receive access to any information you require, if you'll be travelling back to the past, well, I wouldn't say no to second chance in the war, among other things." _I suppose if any paradoxes were to happen they would have occurred already.. but that kind of reasoning just seems careless!_ Minato was in a near-fugue state. Really, this situation was just unreal.

But Minato hadn't made Jounin at fifteen for nothing, "Ah, if you think that's for the best Hokage-sama." He even managed to respond accordingly.

"But in the meantime," the Hokage continued "I suppose you'll be needing somewhere to stay..."

Minato couldn't say he was entirely comfortable with the suspicious looking gleam in the old man's eyes.

"It wouldn't do any good to keep you with someone unaware of the situation.. and since you've already met..." the Hokage chuckled, finding mirth in what was apparently a joke somewhere in there.

"Hound. Why don't you come out, I believe you'll be hosting our guests until they find their way home." The Hokage had a full blown smile now and seemed to find a very personal amusement in assigning the extremely rude _familiar?_ ANBU to them.

"That asshole?! No way, that jerk tried to freaking kill us!" Obito was outraged, as Minato turned to observe his team's reactions, he noted that Rin was looking decidedly nervous, caught between acquiescing to the Hokage's orders, or voicing her own dissent; Kakashi looked decidedly more sour and _downright broody_ at the thought of staying with the shinobi.

The Hokage smirked at Obito's protest, "Well, I somehow doubt there will be a repeat of that."

From the left corner of the room, bleeding out of the shadows, was the very same ANBU that had first greeted them upon their arrival. The three adults of the group observed him more closely now that he stood in the light.

Minato's first observation was that he looked _haggard._ Tired. Probably just returned from a mission when six people who were definitely not supposed to be there had suddenly materialized from thin air. _On second thought, perhaps his reaction was expected?_

He next noted how _reluctant_ the shinobi looked to be taking care of them. Was it just the invasion of personal space, or? _We needed an active seal to get only option is tha-_

"Ah, Hokage-sama? I don't have the space for this many people in my apartment." Now that he was no longer busy _growling_ at them, the apathetic voice gave Minato pause. _No, that couldn't be._

"Then I suppose you'd better open up the Hatake estate then, Hound." _Kakashi?!_

~~~~~~~~x

Obito was dumbstruck. _It figures that jerk was Kakashi!_ What the hell was wrong with him? At the very least he should've been able to verify their chakra signatures. _That's one of the things the asshole was at least_ good _at._

Obito looked over to Kakashi, their Kakashi, and noted that while the boy's face was as blank as ever, what little Obito could see of his face was even paler than normal. As a matter of fact, he looked almost like he was in shock.

"EH?! Kashi-chan! You grew so big!" Kushina was already getting into the ANBU's space and seemed intent on seeing under the animal mask. The noise seemed to snap Kakashi out of his daze though.

"Kushina-san, please refrain from becoming so excitable right now." Obito listened closely to the voice, and while he was definitely older, he didn't sound like as old as sensei or his girlfriend.

Kushina apparently picked up on that as well, "Kakashi, how old are you? Already in ANBU, what the hell kid, you better be taking care of yourself 'ttebane! And none of that 'Kushina-san' crap, I just got the younger you to start calling me 'Kushina-nee!'"

A sigh of defeat sounded from the older Kakashi, he seriously seemed at a loss for what to do with the situation.

Obito snapped out of his thoughts as the Hokage spared Kakashi _how the hell do I avoid mixing them up? Jerk and Old Jerk?_ from answering the question right away.

"Well, why don't you all get a night's sleep before starting up the questions, hm?"

Kushina caught herself in the middle of opening up the next volley of questions that the ANBU wasn't answering, before giving the shinobi an up-and-down look then nodding to herself.

"It's decided then," She took charge "let's all go get some rest!" Obito was almost surprised at her sudden change of attitude but then again, _Kushina-nee always was more maternal._

The shinobi, _-Kakashi-_ blew out another sigh, _he does that a lot,_ before rubbing the back of his head still covered by his hood, _a habit?_ and saying "Just follow me I guess, we'll be going to the Hatake Estate for now then."

"No."

~~~~~~~~x

Minato-sensei winced at his proclamation, as if only now remembering just how much _Kakashi did not want to step foot in there_.

"Kakashi, we don't have much of a choice..." Minato-sensei tried to appeal to him.

"I refuse to open that place back up." The adults, who knew exactly _why_ Kakashi was making this difficult looked uncomfortable. His teammates, Rin and Obito, _dead weights_ looked concerned and irritated respectively, but Kakashi crossed his arms and refused to be moved.  
There was no way they would be getting him to step into the same house that _that man_ had ended his own life in. _Bloodstains that won't come out and the rust is everywhere denial and so much begging why won't he wake up just wake up oh god why please no Dad don't leave me. Dontleavemealone._

Just as it seemed Obito might just explode with impatience, the ANBU _a future him why does he look so empty_ Hound walked right up to him before reaching with one hand to grip the tanto holsters that crossed over his chest and abruptly lifted him up to meet the cold gaze behind the mask.

He only just had time to register the one-eyed gaze and the sudden tensing of his companions before Hound _he refused to call the shinobi, the stranger by_ his _name_ growled out "Get over it kid, you'll do a helluva lot worse in the future than sleep in an abandoned house." _What does that mean? ANBU? What do I do?_

And the _intensity_ of the glare he was receiving, Kakashi hadn't missed that Hound had purposefully left out information about their _his_ father, he was grateful for it.

Kakashi wasn't a genius for nothing, and he knew when he lost a battle, not conceding now would probably result in Hound slinging him over his shoulder and marching off to the estate anyway. _It's only temporary_. He could _do this._

As he came back to himself his met Hound's gaze a second time, and slowly, hesitantly, he nodded.

~~~~~~~~x

As Hound dropped his student, Minato allowed his shoulders to relax, first because his student was unharmed, and then because _Kakashi had agreed to go._ It was no small miracle and Minato was surprised the elder Hatake was willing to go with the situation as well, but Hound - _Kakashi-_ seemed to be handling the entire affair as if it were a regular occurrence.

 _Shock?_ No, Kakashi had always been quite good at compartmentalization, it was possible he was saving any outward reaction for later, when he could sort through everything on his own.

Minato, had known Kakashi since he was five, he'd to let Hound be until he was sure his students, _his Kakashi,_ were in a stable mental state.

As Hound turned away from Kakashi and toward the door, he made brief eye contact with Minato, and in that split second Minato gave a him minuscule nod _we'll talk and sort this out later_.

Hound returned the nod and moved out of the building, his guests filing behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

Gonna be honest here. Kinda thought this would fade into obscurity. It would appear not.  
This year kinda kicked my ass but one year later and you beautiful assholes are stil commenting.  
So here's to everyone who followed, favorited, AND REVIEWED.  
Here's what I got. Lemme know if you're looking for anything in particular bc I don't really have a direction for this.  
Unbeta'd as per usual.

 **Chapter 3**

The trip to the estate by rooftop was made in silence, as each member of the party tried to cope with the situation in their own way and analyze the shinobi leading them to their temporary residence. Minato was sure to keep an eye on Kakashi, the younger one _his student_ for any signs of panic or overt distress. So far, besides his unusually pale complexion, there was little to signify he was about to stay in the same home that his father had killed himself in. _Which is worse, the bad memories? Or the good?_

As they neared their destination and the decrepit gates came into view, Minato caught a small falter in Kakashi's footsteps. He made eye contact with the boy to let him know that he could talk to him anytime. He received a terse nod in reply as the group focused on their destination.

Before them was the Hatake estate. While it had already been sealed after Sakumo's death, seeing it years after the fact, more than anything, convinced him of the reality of their situation. Only the preservation seals Minato himself had put in place in case Kakashi ever wanted to come back kept the place from being condemned.

Minato watched as their host opened the gate, and lead them inside the property. In the front yard of the huge house that once housed the entire Hatake clan were a few abused training dummies and abandoned shuriken. Observing the house itself, Minato hid a wince at the memories that crowded his head as he stared at graffiti that must've been ten years old.

"What the hell happened here?" Obito exclaimed, following after Minato and looking at the abuse the outside of the estate had sustained.

"None of your business, dumbass." The young voice barely hid the telltale tremor.

Minato turned around to look at his student, who still stood at the gate, almost as if incapable of moving.

"Shut up Bakashi!" Obito replied, not completely oblivious to the emotions running high. Minato approved of how he appeared to be trying to keep his teammate focused on him instead of the environment.

Having already crossed the yard, the tense shinobi _that was his student, just years from now_ unsealed and the entrance to the Hatake Estate, entered the abode and left the door open behind him, presumably in invitation.

Jiraiya entered first, followed by Kushina, Rin and Obito. Minato sent a glance to his remaining student _are you going to be alright with this?_ and received an eyeroll in return, before Kakashi stubbornly denied the existence of feelings and walked inside.

As he passed through the threshold, Minato joined the growing semi-circle of his companions as they properly met face to face _face to mask?_ with their one-time assailant for the second time that night.

Before any of them could voice questions to the older version of Kakashi, the teen beat them to the punch in a terse order.

"Everyone stay out of the master bedroom and the study, other than that, sleep where you like."

The ANBU turned abruptly to make his escape before Minato quickly called out, "Kakashi, you can't hide behind that animal mask to avoid us."

The figure paused, tensed as if for battle, and after a moment of stiff silence the older incarnation of his proud student slowly turned to face them, gaze searching.

After a few seconds that seemed to stretch for eternity, he slumped, shoulders lax in exhaustion, back slouched in defeat. He gave a minute nod before reaching up and removing the hood, revealing his trademark white hair, not quite living up to its usual gravity-defying reputation due to both the lack of the Konoha headband and the rust colored substance staining select parts of it.

Kakashi hesitated for another split second as his hand hovered in front of his Hound mask. Minato watched every movement as the boy _and he_ was _a boy because despite everything, he was still_ so _young_ removed the impersonal Hound mask.

He still wore that damned face-mask. That was the first thing Minato registered. The second was the violent scar that stretched down his student's _and no matter how old or how many years passed, Kakashi would_ always _be his student_ closed left eye.

Minato opened his mouth to speak, to comment, to say _/anything_ / when he was interrupted again.

"We'll talk tomorrow." The sentence was curt and denying the chance for reply, the older Kakashi swept out of the room, headed upstairs to presumably rest.

It was, Minato supposed, for the best.

~~~~~~~~x

Hound _Kakashi, he was Kakashi_ slumped against the wooden door that closed him off from the outside world. He was exhausted, physically and emotionally.

How could he just _go on_ with the fact that the entirety dead family was very much not-dead anymore?

How did the Hokage expect for him to sit down and tell them exactly how he failed _each and every one_ of them?

He had long ago accepted responsibility for his actions, his broken promises.

Taking a deep breath, he focused on avoiding a panic attack. _Let's be honest, it's not like you haven't seen their anger, their_ disappointment _before in night terrors, waking dreams and the occasional blood-loss induced hallucination._

It was probably just fair that the real deal _not just ghosts conjured by a guilty conscience_ got the chance to vent their rage. He certainly had no right to deny them the knowledge to save what he couldn't. No right to deny them the identity of their killer, nor of their judgment.

No, it would be best if he followed through _for once in his life._

Coming back to himself, Kakashi found himself curled up against the door, as of barring reality from entry. Looking at the random guest room he'd locked himself into, he made his way slowly to the futon still sitting in the center of the room, as if not a day had passed. Making the token effort to remove his stained armor _it would be difficult to clean later_ he settled down for a fitful night.

He dreamed.

~~~~~~~~x

The shinobi was fighting in the dark. Faceless opponents fell and with each one he grew more desperate. He had to get out.

There was someone -who? Who was he supposed to protect-? It was important. So important. _He needed to protect her._

He _promised_ he would do this.

If ever the was a god out there he hoped they would listen to his prayers because he was screaming out.

The forest floor wet and each movement he made seemed more and more sluggish.

The blood, oh god the the blood was soaking him to his knees, raining from the sky and his mask was soaked hecouldn'tbreathewhycan'thebreathe.

Choking.

Never good enough.

The rocks were falling.  
The boy is beating the ground, knuckles bleeding and it doesn't hurt enough, not nearly enough.  
For the first time in a very long time, he cries.

Tails the size of mountains destroyed his home, _their home, the only thing he has left of them oh god please let me protect something of them_.

A white coat enters the battlefield.

The village might be saved but the rest of his small world has just been crushed.

The enemies are surrounding him, the rain and blood mix and he charges chidori to take out as many as possible.  
One chest cavity, two, three.

-  
There's rain outside.  
Thunder churning the skies and lightning piercing the gloom.  
Blood is soaking the floor and suddenly he learns that the darkness was a mercy and kindness.  
He hates the illumination for the truth it brings.

His hand burst anew through the sternum, ribs cracking as they give way to the beating muscle underneath and the exit as bone splinters inside the ribcage and his hand, dripping with blood bursts through his victim's back.

His shameful screaming, sobbing -begging: a thousand birds screaming for pain.  
He doesn't deserve the sweetness of a life in the dark.  
-

 _Chidori-!_

The Fourth Hokage's coat is redredredred and it looks so much like his father's he can't breathe and he / _hurts._ /

 _No._

"Ka-" Blood spills from her lips, what little breath left in her ruined lungs expelling in a death rattle "kashi."

 _nonononono._

I'm so sorry.

I killed her.

I'm sorry, I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry.

I promised Obito. I never meant to-

His hand is in her chest and she's dying. Red clings to him racing down his harm and he's- There's no strength left in her knees and the girl's _Rin's no not Rin he PROMISED_ weight is balanced on his arm. Ribs and broken bone sucking at his flesh through the gaping ruin he's wrought on her.  
His trembling hand pulls through the fragmented marrow and the gruesome wrenching of the devastating wound he gave her.

She falls.

He is alone.

Kakashi woke an hour before dawn, tangled in sheets and mired in memories; Hound left through the window.

~~~~~~~~x

Minato was attempting to prepare breakfast downstairs, after waking in the Hatake household he'd been forced to deal with the fact that no, last night was _not_ in fact, a particularly vivid dream.

Running another check of chakra signatures on the estate, he knew his students were finally waking up to the smell of food. Kushina and Jiraiya were in the sitting room with the seals laid out before them, attempting to remedy their current situation.

The elder Kakashi hadn't been in the house since before dawn, as much as he wanted to hunt the younger shinobi down for breakfast, he wanted the time this allowed him to both gather his thoughts and talk to his students before confronting the situation at large.

As his chuunin stumbled down the steps, Minato set the table.

"Right on time, call in Kushina and Jiraiya-sensei before you grab a seat."

As they all sat around the kitchen table, Minato could feel the tension in the air as they all avoided pointing out the obvious.

They all, of course, excluding Jiraiya. "Well Minato, this one is certainly new."

Kushina snorted, smothering a snicker at the utter ridiculousness of their situation.

"Yeah! How come Kakashi's STILL an asshole?" Obito exclaimed, gladdened for the lighter atmosphere.

"Well he _is_ ANBU now Obito." Rin pointed out with a shy glance in the white-haired chuunin's direction. As Minato took a closer look he made a mental not to see how well Kakashi had slept last night in his old home, as he could faintly notice dark circles under the boy's eyes.

"So? He totally should've recognised us!" The Uchiha exclaimed.

Kakashi seemed to discreetly fidget a second, "Last night, that shinobi said- he said most of us were dead.

"Hm," Minato took a second to absorb the sobered faces around him, "I think that's something we'll have to ask our host about when he comes back."  
"'Comes back?' Where'd he go?" Obito asked.

"It looks like he left early the morning. I'm not sure where he got off to." Minato replied  
"Ah, no matter brats! I'm sure our big and scary ANBU can take care of himself!" Jiraiya joked, trying to bring some levity to the room.

"In any case, we need to figure out what to ask him," Minato said "He wasn't very forthcoming at all last night.. I don't know how hard we can push him for answers."  
Kushina pursed her lips for a moment, contemplating the sober (more so than even his younger counterpart) young man. "That may be true but there's no escaping the fact that we need answers. What happened to us? Besides, I don't think Kakashi will appreciate us walking on glass around him."

"Oh yeah!" Obito interrupted, "We gotta do something about that! We can't call both of them 'Kakashi', we need a nickname or something for one!" He exclaimed, looking for all the world as if he'd just articulated a grand and vastly more important issue.

Rin nodded in agreement and turned to her white haired teammate, "Ah, Kakashi-kun, did you have in mind any nickname..?" She trailed off with a slight bush at Kakashi's deadpan stare.

"No nicknames. That's ridiculous." Kakashi resolved to be firm about not needing some cutesy thing to be called _god forbid Kushina-nee took it as an invite to go back to calling him 'Kashi-kun.'_ "If you need to call someone another name, call the other one something else, not me!"

"Eh?! But he's ANBU! He could kick my ass!" Obito protested, only to be met with a glare from his teammate that said: _I_ could kick your ass.

"None of this matters till he gets here, chibis!" Kushina decided, before digging into her breakfast with vigor.  
Taking that as their cue, the rest of the band joined her.

~~~~~~~~x

It was after they had cleaned up and the sun was hovering around midmorning when Jiraiya perked up from his seat on the floor hunched over a copy of the hiraishin seal.

"Minato! Your oldest brat's finally here!" He called into the next room where Team Minato and Kushina were gathered.  
As a unit, the occupants of the room turned to the door, only to be thrown for a loop when a slightly suspicious ANBU crawled in through the kitchen window. The younger members of Team Minato stared in incredulity as Kushina and Minato shared a look, communicating the need to keep an eye of the stability of the near-stranger.  
"EH? Where the hell were you all morning Bakashi?!"  
"Mah, sorry I'm late everyone, I saw a black cat on my window sill last night and had to spend the morning helping old ladies with their groceries to counter all the bad luck."


End file.
